When Life Deals Out Bad Hands

When Life Deals Out Bad Hands

They say life is good, but not everyone can find the truth in a statement that in many cases can be looked at as one-sided. Life is like a game of Spades; you’ve got some that may have the best hands dealt out when there’s that one with the messed up hand that’s not by choice. While some are born with silver spoons, many dream and pray for that same spoon & comfortable life filled with love, laughter, security, & most of all; family. A mother who’s the best mother she could ever be to her children and a father who would always hold up to his promises and never leave his family. Sounds like a picturesque fairytale that always concludes with a happily ever after ending & a beautiful sunshine that keeps our lives shinning bright.

While there are living testimonies behind the good, there are living testimonies behind the bad. The one’s whose eyes have seen more than what they should’ve seen & ears who’ve heard things that they shouldn’t have heard. What you know about a testimony that includes all forms of abuse from sexual to physical? Well if you’ve never heard a testimony like that then you’re not apart of this world because in the real world, these events are taking place in homes across the world. All races, cultures, & creeds are becoming victims to what life deals them whether it is a dysfunctional household to excessive drug use.

I guess with these types of issues, you would expect it to only affect the low income families, but abuse sees no class or stature because there are plenty of victims who come from upper & middle class homes. Regardless of the race or background, many children’s lives are being corrupted by hardships, verbal abuse, physical abuse, & neglect. With these terrible situations, these children grow up with deep rooted scars that can A: change them for the better or B: who will continue to live hard & rough because they feel like there’s no other way. This is the life they know and with that stored in their mental storages, they take on the same experiences and continue to allow the negative to build.

It seems like once a child has been sexually abused, they grow up with lack of self-esteem in search for the love that was lacked in the household. That’s when little girls grow up to young women who bounce from man to man thinking that sex will achieve real love when in actuality it isn’t. Little boys will grow up to be young men in search for that positive role model to teach them what it takes to be a man, but the only influences that they have around them are usually dope boys, pimps, hustlers, & thugs. A lot of these boys who will turn into men, a huge percentage of them are born into fatherless families with no choice but to take on the responsibilities as the man of the house. A mother can only do so much when it comes to raising sons, but it takes a man to show that boy how to be a man and when that positive role model isn’t handy, then they gravitate to what’s available in their environment.

Whatever the circumstances may be, just know that there is hope in changing your life for the better. Madea said it best when she said It’s not where you come from, it’s where you’re going and I’m a firm believer in that because dreams can come true and life is definitely what you make it. Don’t allow your past trials & tribulations stunt your growth when it comes to striving for better. Take it from me, I’ve came from a single parent home with a mother who was obligated to the military without a father figure in my life. I’ve also overcame mental, emotional, physical, & sexual abuse. I know what it’s like to be hungry and without lights, and I’ve even experienced being homeless.

Not only have I’ve dealt with the abuse from my mother, I’ve also dealt with major abuse from past relationships. I’ve been manipulated & taken advantage of by folks who claimed to have loved me or cared about me. I’ve endured plenty heartache and let downs in my life, but I can’t allow the past to jeopardize my future. I take all the bad in stride and flipped it into something positive, I guess that’s why I’ve been blessed with the talent of writing because my shell has been through & seen a lot of drama to relay into stories. God takes us through things for a reason and I guess in order for me to be able to write about pain, love, let downs, betrayal, & sex, I’ve had to go through the journey in order to learn from it and apply it to something that can be beneficial to someone else.

I don’t want to say that I was dealt out a bad hand, but my life wasn’t filled with white picket fences, servants, & nannies, I was introduced to something called reality and my reality just happened to involve a lot of things that have broken me & have molded me to the person I am today. In my younger years, I chose to run to a gang because I was seeking acceptance, love, & something I could look at as a family. My decisions to bang was my decision and I wouldn’t change it because it took for my eyes to see the negative sides of gangbanging and it took for me to have those experiences in order for me to change for the better. Thank god I’ve never been locked up, but during the years of being associated to the street game, I’ve watched a lot of lives become lost due to the violence. I could have been killed or could have became lost in the system behind taking someone else’s life, but with the strength and the grace of god, I took all of those negatives and flipped it into something positive.

So whatever you go through in life, always know that the light is always at the end of the tunnel and that you can survive the storm. Life is what you make it and even though the devil can build up plenty of road blocks in your life, its up to you to make that change and reclaim your life from not having a pot to piss in & a window to throw it out of to making something of yourself and claiming your own. I wanted to come share these words with you all because this subject was definitely heavy on my heart. So if you ever feel like you’re all alone in this struggle we call life, don’t be because there is always somebody who can relate to what you’re going through. It’s like the Keyshia Cole song; just know that I’m just like you.

Alicia C. McGhee